Happy f***ing birthday

22 Jan

Apologies, I haven’t touched blog in a long, long time.

Work has been crazy. And, honestly, I just needed a break from everything. I’ve been coming home, putting on my satin PJs, lighting some candles, eating frozen yoghurt and watching Homeland. It’s been nice. I feel like I am recuperating.

There is a lot to catch everyone up on. But that is for another day.

Because today is my ex’s birthday.

Last year I cooked him the most incredible meal. I took a day off work to cook it. I made him a cake that was quite simply magnificent. When he took it into work the next day everyone told him he should put a ring on my finger. Pronto.

Of course, as we all know, he instead decided to wait a few months and then eat half a pizza and break my heart into a billion pieces.

I’m not a nasty person. I pride myself on being one of the nicest people I have ever met.

But I hope he has a rubbish birthday.

Maybe he’s with someone else now. Maybe he’s on his own and feeling lonely. Maybe he’s out with his friends tonight.

Whatever he’s doing, I hope he remembers that meal, that cake, and the gifts I gave him last year. How I blew up balloons and made him a card.  How I made a Spotify playlist with all his favourite music. How we kissed.

And I hope he feels terrible.

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8 Responses to “Happy f***ing birthday”

  1. luciddream85 January 22, 2014 at 2:56 pm #

    Even if he doesn’t feel the blow yet, one day he will. It took my abusive ex years to come back around and want another chance. Point is; they always do.

    Next year, it will be easier. Because you will no longer have the “last year at this time..” mentality. I’m still fighting that since next month is the month Andy actually moved down here to be with me. The summer is going to be hell.

  2. jadedwildcat January 22, 2014 at 3:44 pm #

    😦 I’m still in this state too, remembering all these things that hurt.
    Sounds like you were one hell of a gf, and so was I and sometimes that makes it so much worse right? Like we tried and gave so much only to have things turn sour somehow. Makes us feel like we failed, like we could have done SOMETHING…
    Anyway – hugs – glad you’re still shuffling along… and it’s okay to feel bitter once in awhile! x

    • aprileb January 22, 2014 at 3:46 pm #

      Yup – feels like such a slap in the face when you know you couldn’t have done any better. But we’re better for having been so good in these relationships. x

    • foodfortoomuchthought January 23, 2014 at 1:00 am #

      I hope he feels terrible too! I hope you had a hug glass of wine in fact, to toast to him being lonely and regretful.
      Cheers to this seemingly happier you! 🍷

  3. classiccassie January 22, 2014 at 5:59 pm #

    I’ve had the same thing about two weeks ago when it was my ex’s birthday, I think it’s natural to be angry. I’m looking forward to the Summer when everything will be much further away. Be strong and hang in there!

  4. intothebeauty January 23, 2014 at 4:38 pm #

    Ugh, the first birthday. I hated that too. My ex showed up randomly to mine and almost ruined it. So this past August on his, I didn’t call or anything. Sometimes you just have to let it be. Make today like Alice in Wonderland: Happy UnBirthday, April 😉 !

  5. Just Someone January 31, 2014 at 4:21 pm #

    Hey April,
    Hope you are doing well.. Long time, no post!! Maybe you are healed now. I am happy for you, that you no longer need the blog. 🙂 Take care..

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