When you’ve been through the most painful experience of your life

2 Dec

I have been through the most painful experience of my life.

I have felt agitated by pain, unable to sit still or sleep through the night. I’ve had grief under my skin. I’ve found myself crying on buses, in shops, at my desk, and not realised I was even thinking about it. About him.

I’ve struggled to get out of bed, only to struggle to shower, and struggle to dress, and struggle to brush my teeth and look in the mirror and try to convince myself I’m better off alive rather than dead. And then struggle through another day, just so I can lay awake all night regretting myself.

I’ve made mistakes. I’ve learned from them. I’ve made more. I’m still learning.

I no longer feel like I am going through this. It no longer controls me.

If you are heartbroken, or hurt, please believe me it will get better.

I had reached the point when I never thought it would. I spent 16 months in hell.

Now, I believe it’s going to be OK.

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6 Responses to “When you’ve been through the most painful experience of your life”

  1. digg December 2, 2014 at 3:49 pm #

    It took me two years to reach the same conclusion. I have learned a lot from the experience which again it took me a while to realise. I also learned I have no one to blame and forgive. I will love again.

    • aprileb December 2, 2014 at 4:10 pm #

      Good for you. It’s tough, but you do get there. You’re a step ahead of me as I’m still unable to forgive. But I have learned a lot from this experience. I’m a very different person now, and I like this person more.

  2. jadedwildcat December 2, 2014 at 6:58 pm #

    ❤ Love This. It really does get better…

  3. luciddream85 December 3, 2014 at 2:28 pm #

    Inspiration. ❤

    • riri1124 December 3, 2014 at 2:47 pm #

      I am so happy to hear that you are feeling/doing much better. I truly feel every ounce of pain that you have been thru. No one could have ever told me that heartbreak could feel so horrific and be so life-altering that death seemed like a more favorable option. It gives me hope to know that you have come out the other side on top and flourishing.. xoxo

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  1. When you’ve been through the most painful experience of your life | " I hate to see something right fall apart… " - December 3, 2014

    […] When you’ve been through the most painful experience of your life. […]

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