Feeling unlucky

22 Oct

I met an old friend to try a new burger place tonight. We hadn’t seen each other since my 30th birthday party. Which was only 18 months ago, but – wow – a lot has happened for us both in that time.

The night got off to a great start when I was IDd in the pub. Seriously? I look 18? Sure, if you insist.

The burgers were delicious and the chat was great. This particular friend and I were very close in our mid twenties. We lived together in New York for three months. He’s always been able to make me laugh so hard I nearly pee my pants. And he’s seen me date some very unsuitable men over the years. Although we have drifted recently, he still knows me really well.

Of course I updated him on everything, and told him the tale of the pizza of doom. I guess, although I’ve come a long way since my mid twenties, talking with him made me realise that the things I really want out of life haven’t changed much at all.

I’ve never been lucky in love.

But I feel particularly unlucky that, just for a while, I had everything I ever wanted.

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3 Responses to “Feeling unlucky”

  1. jadedwildcat October 22, 2013 at 10:20 pm #

    I think quite honestly (not to state the obvious) that is the absolute worst part of your particular situation =( I mean the rest of us have had to put up with years worth of fights and pain and sadness and confusion at least. It gives us more of a reason to think Hey, it was for the best…
    I can’t imagine what you must be feeling, seeing as how it was just so close to perfection – for BOTH of you even, since he was only missing that tiny little %.
    That actually could probably lead me to be angry with someone if they left me because of that. I mean, is he such a perfectionist that he had to throw away something because it wasn’t 100%
    Not meaning to offend or criticize but… yeah. Just my thoughts 😦 I am sorrowed to see you in pain over something that just seemed like it could be so great… x

    • aprileb October 22, 2013 at 10:43 pm #

      I think you’re right. As time goes on a lot of the stress surrounding the break up starts to dull a little, but I go over and over and over how happy we were. And that is the very worst thing to remember. Thanks for your words. Hope you’re OK xx

  2. Aussa Lorens October 23, 2013 at 5:12 am #

    Gah, where would we be without those friends whom we meet up with every so often and just pile on all our life and drama and shiz? Buried underneath all that, I guess.

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