Feeling unlucky

22 Oct

I met an old friend to try a new burger place tonight. We hadn’t seen each other since my 30th birthday party. Which was only 18 months ago, but – wow – a lot has happened for us both in that time.

The night got off to a great start when I was IDd in the pub. Seriously? I look 18? Sure, if you insist.

The burgers were delicious and the chat was great. This particular friend and I were very close in our mid twenties. We lived together in New York for three months. He’s always been able to make me laugh so hard I nearly pee my pants. And he’s seen me date some very unsuitable men over the years. Although we have drifted recently, he still knows me really well.

Of course I updated him on everything, and told him the tale of the pizza of doom. I guess, although I’ve come a long way since my mid twenties, talking with him made me realise that the things I really want out of life haven’t changed much at all.

I’ve never been lucky in love.

But I feel particularly unlucky that, just for a while, I had everything I ever wanted.

3 Responses to “Feeling unlucky”

  1. jadedwildcat at 10:20 pm #

    I think quite honestly (not to state the obvious) that is the absolute worst part of your particular situation =( I mean the rest of us have had to put up with years worth of fights and pain and sadness and confusion at least. It gives us more of a reason to think Hey, it was for the best…
    I can’t imagine what you must be feeling, seeing as how it was just so close to perfection – for BOTH of you even, since he was only missing that tiny little %.
    That actually could probably lead me to be angry with someone if they left me because of that. I mean, is he such a perfectionist that he had to throw away something because it wasn’t 100%
    Not meaning to offend or criticize but… yeah. Just my thoughts 😦 I am sorrowed to see you in pain over something that just seemed like it could be so great… x

    • aprileb at 10:43 pm #

      I think you’re right. As time goes on a lot of the stress surrounding the break up starts to dull a little, but I go over and over and over how happy we were. And that is the very worst thing to remember. Thanks for your words. Hope you’re OK xx

  2. Aussa Lorens at 5:12 am #

    Gah, where would we be without those friends whom we meet up with every so often and just pile on all our life and drama and shiz? Buried underneath all that, I guess.

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