Passive flirtatious behaviour

26 Dec

Happy Boxing Day.

I have spent the day lying around on the sofa at my parents’ house, eating my body weight in cheese and chocolate. I’m not complaining.

I am complaining, however, about B.

Latest update: he texts on and off. He was super lovely when I had tonsillitis. We last texted on Christmas Eve. I waited for him to text me on Christmas Day. Nothing. I waited for him to text me today. Nothing.

Meanwhile I notice that he has once again checked out my eHarmony profile. What is with this passive flirtatious behaviour?

Dude, just say hi.

I know what you are thinking. But I can text him. But I can call him. Yes, I can. But I did so on Christmas Eve, and I am not about to become the psycho who will not stop texting. I was that girl between the ages of 18 and 29. I have learned a little self-restraint in the past two years. Just a little bit. OK, a tiny bit.

Ahhhh, B, so ridiculously handsome and yet possibly somewhat of a non-starter.

Never mind, never mind.

I honestly think 2013 has hurt so much, that I can cope with just about anything these days.

However (my therapist says it’s OK to say this out loud so I’m just going to say it), I hate being single. I hate it. Not because I’m needy. Not because I’m desperate to get married right this minute (I have other plans for at least then extra few hours). Just because I love nothing more than being close to someone.

B, well, I don’t know that we will ever get close.

But someone will want to be close to me. Someday.

I smell nice.

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5 Responses to “Passive flirtatious behaviour”

  1. jadedwildcat December 26, 2013 at 8:26 pm #

    Perhaps if that is the reason (just wanting to be close to someone) you need to be with your closest friends more often, no? I mean I keep reading everywhere that “unless you learn to be comfortable alone, you’ll never know if you’re choosing to be with someone out of love or loneliness”…
    I really feel it’s an important lesson to learn – one that I myself still need to learn. There is someone I could be delving into a relationship with right now (M) but I’m ever-wary about the fact that I could be doing it out of loneliness, and so I continue to hold off…
    It’s hard to be alone but, perhaps just take comfort in the fact that you’ve got a lovely family who cares about you and who will always have your back right? HUGS
    P.S. I bet you were as glad to see Dec 26th as I am

    • aprileb December 26, 2013 at 10:48 pm #

      Hey buddy. I actually disagree. There’s a big difference between being close to your friends and family, and being close to a partner.

      I’m ok on my own. But it’s not how I would choose to live my life. Because I love being in a relationship. It’s ok to say that. In fact, it’s healthy. It doesn’t mean I’m about to “settle” for someone I shouldn’t be with, because bad relationships are worse than no relationship at all.

      What I’m coming to realise is that it’s ok to say you love being in a relationship. We’re designed to be connected. It’s normal.

      It doesn’t mean I care any less about my friends or family. But it is a different kind of closeness and connection.

      Anyway. Hope your Christmas was good. And it’s nearly 2014 – woohoo!

  2. luciddream85 December 26, 2013 at 9:47 pm #

    I’m glad your therapist says it’s okay to admit it. I’ve always pulled no punches when I say “I will not be alone. My door is revolving. If you leave, another one will walk right on through” … I don’t think there is anything wrong with that.

    • aprileb December 26, 2013 at 10:49 pm #

      Yes. See my comments above. There is nothing wrong with saying that you love being in a relationship. It doesn’t make you desperate: it makes you normal.

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. The return of Fit but Flaky | Pizza of Doom - June 1, 2014

    […] he flaked out, randomly sending me texts every few days that lead nowhere, and exhibiting extreme passive flirtatious behaviour. I christened him ‘Fit but […]

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