Tag Archives: weddings

That engagement season photo

18 Dec

Amen to the girl in the red vest.

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Survived my first post break up wedding

1 Sep

The wedding was lovely. The bride was gorgeous. The groom was hilarious. The champagne was delicious. It just made me sad hearing the vows and knowing I thought and felt all those things for my ex. But he didn’t feel them back. Ouch. Massive ouch.

Also I was wearing a dress I last wore to a wedding in Ireland. With him. Although I’ve lost about 10 lbs since then, I felt blobby and unattractive today. It’s a sad story when a man breaks your heart and ruins a favourite dress in the process.

Well, damn. I need to get some sleep. I’m going to France in the morning for some post-break-up, pre-new-job, please-let-a-change-of-scene-stop-me-being-so-miserable, quality time with my Mum.¬†

Au revoir, sad London. Bonjour, sunny Nice.

Am I a terrible friend?

29 Aug

One of my best friends is getting married in two weeks. I’m a bridesmaid. When she asked me to be her bridesmaid I was so excited I could hardly sleep. We’ve been friends since university, we used to live together, I really like her fianc√©. I am happy for her. Of course I am.

But whenever I think about this wedding I start crying.

It’s not because I fear I’ll never get married. It’s because my ex was supposed to be there. Instead, I have two first-class train tickets to myself, and a lovely, big room in the nicest hotel in Edinburgh. To myself.

I hate going to weddings alone.

The hen party was two weeks ago. I found it really tough.

And on top of feeling bad because I’m sad, I feel guilty for being sad.

Today I went to get some spanx for under my dress and some shoes to match the dress. I ended up crying, feeling dizzy, and wandering around with the craziest craving for sushi (no sushi in sight). Then another customer (a large customer, I hasten to add) literally fell into a shop that I was leaving and punched me in the stomach in the process. It sounds unlikely, I know. But this actually happened.

The good news is that The Body Shop had 40% off and I bought every coconut-themed product that they make. I love coconut. My ex used to call me his “tropical princess”.

I hate that even coconut reminds me of him.

I’m mad at myself for still being so upset about this.

I’m angry that I miss him so much.

Also I really despise the Phones4U ads about how “breaking up doesn’t have to be hard”. Assholes.

I need this to stop hurting. Ideally in time for the wedding.