Tag Archives: running

Roar

22 Jun

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Roar.

That’s me making an angry noise. Because I’m working at the weekend again. And I’m a tired, tired cat.

But I’m also releasing my inner lion because something has kicked in very recently. I don’t know what to call this thing. It’s a feeling of being back in control. It’s a feeling of being good enough. It’s hard to put my finger on, but – damn – it feels OK.

I went for a run this morning, which I’ve started doing every morning. (Note to all break upees – run, run and run some more. It has done wonders for my mood and my sausage arms.) Anyway, usually in the mornings I just get my ass in gear so I only run a mile or so. This morning I just kept going. Like Forest fricking Gump.

I got back to my flat looking like a tomato, ever so sweaty, and feeling pretty f***ing great.

“What’s changed?” I hear you ask.

Who knows. My mood has been so up and down for the past ten months, that the slightest work stress or hiccup in my social life sent me spiraling into the doom. But right now I’m about as stressed as I can get about work. I’m not sleeping great because of that. I’m working long hours. But I feel OK about it. Yup, definitely OK.

Running has helped. I’ve also got myself a pedometer and make myself take time out every day to get at least 10,000 steps in. Just so you know, yesterday I did over 18,000 – check me out. I’ve been eating right. Using a lot of essential oils and things to try and lift my mood. Buying myself peonies every single week. Making plans for the rest of the year. I’ve made a great new friend who’s like a little injection of sunshine into every day (thank you). And – what’s more – it’s actually sunny.

I remember last year, post pizza of doom, crying on a friend about how sh** my summer had been between the stress of him going away, him acting like a c***, and then him finally ending things right before I started my new job. Yup. Summer 2013 sucked. My friend said, “Just think how great next summer will be.”

Maybe she was right.

Time will tell. But, as you know, every moment in my life needs a song from Nashville to accompany it. So here’s one that simply says ROAR.

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Sea tears

10 May

I’ve been quiet this week because, well, I’ve been lying on the beach. I’ve got into a nice routine, starting with a 6 am run every morning.

But this morning was tricky. Because last night I dreamt about him.

I dreamt I was at a hotel in Ireland. And everyone was telling me that this is where we were supposed to get married. I’m not sure who these bearers of upsetting news were. I seemed to be on my own. I guess the hotel staff just wanted to rub salt into the wound.

Anyway, made myself get up and run in spite of waking up close to tears. I ran as far as I could on the beach, then kicked off my trainers and walked back through the water.

And it’s only then I realised I was crying. Salty, watery sea tears.

That dream is what it all boils down to. For all the times he told me he’d spent his whole life looking for me, I genuinely felt I’d spent my whole life looking for him. I loved him unconditionally. And, yes, I wanted to marry him and spend my life with him.

But it will never happen.

I need to lose half my bodyweight! Immediately!

28 Mar

Well, you know, buddies, I’ve been feeling pretty sorry for myself of late.

And I still do.

I still think it’s ridiculously unfair that I am a thoroughly nice girl with a good sense of humour, a good job, and lovely hair, and yet I have nobody.

But I have also come to realise that moaning and worrying really doesn’t get you anywhere. So I’m wondering what else in my life (aside from being a lonely cat) I would like to change.

I would like to be thinner.

There it is.

Blame the fashion magazines. Blame the MTV. Blame what you will. But I really think there is nothing wrong with aspiring to be leaner version of oneself.

Will it make me happier?

Yes, it definitely will. And it will open up a huge new range of wardrobe choices.

But here’s the thing, I am just not prepared to get crazy about this. I cannot and will not count every mouthful and every single itty bitty calorie. I’ve been down that road before and it only leads to meltdowns over scrapings of peanutbutter and an overreliance on ice lollies. That’s a sad way to live.

I want to get some kind of exercise schedule going on. Which is ironic, because I just cancelled my gym membership. But it’s springtime now and I live opposite a huge park.

However, I’ve never been very good at getting into an exercise regime. And, by “never very good” I mean “pretty awful”. I tend to go nuts for a few weeks and then get in a mood with myself and decide not to do any of the exercises that I’ve worked so hard to build up to.

So, this time I’m throwing it open to you, my blogger buddies. Any suggestions for workouts, routines, circuits etc. that can be achieved at the park with nothing more than a skipping rope and weight resistance band thingie are most welcome.

I have five weeks until I go to Florida. I would like to be able to run on the beach and not risk being mistaken for a manatee who has swum ashore.

(Although, how cute are manatees?)

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