I was emailing a friend today, and the ex came up.
The friend said, “Remember, this isn’t something that he did to you. It’s just something he did. He didn’t see a future with you.”
Ouch.
Six months on, that still stings.
I don’t know why he’s on my mind so much at the moment.
I don’t know why he couldn’t see that future with me.
I don’t know why for months and months he told me that he could.
I don’t know why he told me he’d spent his whole life looking for me, and that he’d never let me go. Or why he rushed to introduce me to his family. Or how he could possibly have turned so cruel.
I don’t know if he thinks about me. If he cares about me. If he remembers me.
I don’t know what’s wrong with me.
I don’t know if I’ll ever meet anyone who does see a future with me. Or if I’ll meet anyone who I see a future with. Or if I’ll ever see past him.
I don’t know why he did this to me.
And, while I know that really it isn’t something he did to me, I don’t know how to stop it feeling that way.
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