Tag Archives: parents

What will it take to get over my ex?

18 Nov

I’m kind of mad at myself. I am ruining my own holiday. I am thinking about him constantly. And I don’t know how to turn it off.

I’m here with my parents who clearly think, after nearly four months, I must be OK. They are very much of the ‘suck it up and get on with your life’ school of thought. I’ve tried to bring it up a few times, commenting on how shot my immune system is because I haven’t slept since July, telling them I am really not that interested in Christmas because I’m just a spare part hanging around my sister’s family, and even (last night) saying that 2013 has been the worst year of my life. On all accounts, no comment.

It’s not that they don’t care. They were actually great when it all happened. I just don’t think they have any experience or comprehension of this kind of thing. My sister is perfectly married with kids. I’m the emotional nut job with nobody.

But I don’t like the fact I can feel myself reverting back to being a surly teenager (I was a horrible teenager), when I’m 31.

I just don’t know how to snap out of it. I don’t know what will ever make me feel OK.

I have a good job.

I have a lovely flat filled with lovely things.

I have gorgeous, wonderful friends.

I have a nice family who are just the right amount of crazy.

I have my health. Usually I am superhero healthy, it’s just recently that I’m constantly ill.

I have great hair.

But, honestly, a lot of the time I feel like there’s no point to my life. And I feel bad saying that because I know how many people are so much worse off than me. Also I sound so embarrassingly dramatic (I told you I’m reverting to my teenage self, next thing you know I’ll be dressing like a Spice Girl).

I just wonder what it’s going to take to feel good again.

Unlike my teenage self, I’m going to canvass opinion. So, blogger buddies, any ideas?