Tag Archives: migraine

Ramblings of a single thirtysomething

16 Aug

h0828C28F

Apologies in advance that this post is as grumbly as an angry bear. Apologies also that it doesn’t really come to a point. But if you want to read on, I thank you in advance.

I’ve been feeling pretty down this week. I don’t like being a miserable cat, and so I find myself asking, “Why? Why? Why must I be on a downer in this beautiful month of August?”

In fact, there are many reasons:

  • I had a three-day migraine that made me want to rip my own head off. And beat it with a stick. 
  • The run-up to the migraine made me tired and moody.
  • I received surprising smear test results.
  • I had too much work to do, too little time, and lost an entire day to the aforementioned migraine.
  • Oh, and I got my period. Awesome.

My ex has been on my mind too. I don’t know why. Maybe my brain is doing its whole going-back-in-time thing. Last year this weekend was my best friend’s hen party in Scotland. Two weeks after the pizza of doom. I went. I organised, in fact. I dressed up and cooked food and made cocktails and danced and drank. On the second day we went to Go Ape (a massive obstacle course in the trees in a national park). I literally threw myself into it. I remember thinking, “Oh well, no big deal if I die.” And after Go Ape I came over all shaky, left the cabins we were staying at and drove 40 minutes to my parents’ house where they ran me a bath, made me ginger tea, and put on a DVD of Modern Family. No questions asked.

Yes, I’ve come a long way since then. In no small part thanks to the cast of Modern Family. But I find myself a year on wondering what I have to look forward to.

I was out for dinner on Tuesday night with a group of friends who range in age from 24 to 35. Everyone except me in relationships. Two of them married. One planning a wedding. They were all talking about their plans for the immediate future – weddings, babies, holidays. I found myself zoning out. (In part because migraine aura had set in, admittedly. Also I was terribly busy eating olives.)

So, when I started to tell them about my most recent trip to the psychic and they had the audacity to suggest she might not be right(!), I lost my sh**. I’m not an idiot. I know the psychic might not be right. But I don’t have a wedding or a baby or even some mediocre sex in my immediate future. I need someone to tell me that stuff is going to happen. Maybe it will. Maybe it won’t. But I need someone to let me look forward to it.

I definitely feel like I have things together. I even spent today fixing my own shower (how’s that for a powerful, independent woman?). And of course there are things to look forward to. I’m going to Florida in 12 weeks. I’m going up to Edinburgh in October. I have some fun things on at work. I have five days off work starting this coming Thursday.

I guess I just thought things would be, well, different by now. That I wouldn’t be spending Saturday night watching Modern Family and drinking Diet Coke.

And that I wouldn’t think about him. Or, at least, wouldn’t care.

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Be right back

16 Jul

I haven’t been posting this week because this week has been like this:

Work.

Work.

Work.

Argue with people at work.

Work.

Work.

Migraine.

Work.

Migraine’s still there.

Work.

Migraine ain’t giving up.

Work.

I would like to extend a big “Thank you” to the person who has been sending me lovely text messages to keep me sane while I cry into my coffee (well, I’ve had to switch to green tea now on account of all the migraining).

Normal service will resume shortly here on the pizza of doom.

Green tea is not that nice. Just saying.

Karma

19 Jun

Full Leaf Tea Latte

I believe in Karma.

Which is why Irish Two and I get into arguments when I say, “But it’s not fair! Why am I alone? I’m so nice!” .

And he responds, “Where does this concept of fairness come from? Life isn’t fair.”

Admittedly there are times I feel like calling Karma to let it know that it missed someone.

But this morning it was spot on. Please excuse the fact I am a total meanie in this post.

This whole week I’ve had an on-off migraine. Nice. Real nice. It’s been so bad that it put me off coffee. So in the mornings I’ve been popping into Starbucks for a little chai tea latte to start the day. This morning I got to Starbucks, opened the door to step through and a couple of assholes wandered right in ahead of me. I was mad as hell.

There was a big queue (which I would have been further up had they not pushed past me).

I waited and waited.

Of course their drinks came first. Then they annoyed me by pushing past me to get to the ‘cinnamon/sugar/milk’ preparation area. And then they annoyed me even more when I was ready to dust my drink with vanilla and they were still standing there chatting.

I watched, then, as the female asshole’s bag fell forward, knocking over her coffee, which spilt everywhere.

I confess. I smiled a little.

I stepped over the spilt coffee. Grabbed the pot of vanilla. Sprinkled some on my delicious chai tea latte. Smiled at the assholes. And left.

Thanks, Karma.