Tag Archives: friends with benefits

Friends without benefits

21 Apr

cute-kawaii-.-kiss-lovely-panda-pandas-Favim.com-82083

Irish Two and I went to see The Lego Movie today. Then we went for Vietnamese food. Then we walked home in the rain.

It had all the makings of a perfect date, except we were doing it as friends.

At dinner I gave him career advice. He gave me relationship advice.

Since we became “just friends” I’ve been hoping for more. I’ve been hoping for benefits. Sexual ones, to be precise. I’ve seen the Mila Kunis and Justin Timberlake movie. I’ve seen the identical movie with Natalie Portman and Ashton Kutcher. These both convinced me that a friend with benefits is a real asset. Though I’m not sure this was supposed to be my take on them.

Nothing.

Not even a kiss from Irish Two.

Did he never even find me attractive?

I know it’s probably better this way. This way we actually stand a chance of being friends. I stand a chance of moving on. But I do miss the sex. I miss feeling desirable.

Of course, there are other benefits. As long as we continue to watch movies and eat meals without any touching at all, I can neglect to shave my legs, and I needn’t worry about doing anything to my bikini line.

After all, nobody else is doing anything to it.

Birthday benefits

3 Apr

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I had a nice birthday, buddies.

I’d kind of been dreading it. What’s the point of celebrating yourself existing when nobody loves you? I woke up on my birthday and cried before hoisting myself out of bed and into the shower, then the office.

As it turns out, my birthday was just what I needed to remind me that I am loved by some very wonderful cats right around the world. Messages. Calls. Cards. Gifts. All so so appreciated right now. And all made me feel like I’m worthy of that love.

My team got me TWO cakes. Mmm. A delicious working day.

My friend Kate gave me flowers and bought me dinner. No guy I have ever dated has treated me to that double whammy. She’s a pretty hot date too, let me tell you.

Did I think about last year having cocktails and steak with the ex? You know I did. Did I cry about that? Of course. But, did I have a nice birthday anyway? Yes.

It made me realise I can be in people’s thoughts and hearts without having a boyfriend. And I might not have been good enough for him, but I’m good enough for plenty of other people.

Birthday benefits, they feel good. Tomorrow night I’m having drunkenness with a bunch of friends and Irish Two is coming along.

I can’t help but wonder if he might have a few birthday benefits for me too?