Well, buddies, the ‘Sex and the City’ gorging continues.
Tonight I watched an episode where Charlotte and Carrie attend a seminar about finding love. It’s about positive affirmations, and putting yourself out there. Because if you hope for love, you will find it. If you believe that you deserve it, you will find it.
Charlotte asks how long she needs to do this for. She says she’s been doing positive affirmations, and putting herself “out there”. But it’s not working.
She says she did find love. That she had a wonderful wedding. And then everything fell apart. And she is, “afraid that he took away my ability to believe.”
That’s how I feel.
I didn’t have the wedding. But I did find love. I loved my ex so much. Truthfully, a large part of me still does.
Lately I feel that there isn’t anybody for me. I know I’m an amazing girlfriend. I know I would be a wonderful wife, and a wonderful mummy. But I just don’t think it’s going to happen.
How can I believe that love is out there, when the only time I’ve experienced it, it was fake?
How can I believe it when he took it away?
Pizza of Doom 
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