Tag Archives: Catfish

“I don’t watch TV”

27 Jul

cat_watching_tv_by_gracefool_lyn-d5h0he3

The Set Up has been messaging me on Facebook.

And he seems very nice. Very normal. Just as busy as I am at the moment so we’re going to set a date to meet up in a couple of weeks time.

Then on Thursday night he dropped a bombshell.

“I don’t watch TV.”

Not, “I don’t watch much TV” or “I’m not a huge TV person”. No, no.

Straight up. “I don’t watch TV.”

I sense a problem.

I, myself, am nothing short of addicted to TV. And I feel absolutely fine about that. I work really hard. I exercise loads. I go out with friends a lot. In my downtime I like nothing more than settling down to Dance Moms or Catfish or Mad Men or Nashville. I’ll just say it: I love TV.

What’s more, in my experience, people who make sweeping statements like, “I don’t watch TV” invariably turn out to be assholes.

But I’m trying to have an open mind.

And an open heart.

Sometimes they are ukulele players

26 May

Lanakai-Ukulele-ULU11

Catfish Season Three is now upon us. Yeah yeah yeah. I have a lot to say about it. But this is just a quick comment for starters. An appetiser, if you will.

Tonight saw Nev and Max investigate yet another “rapper”, who was in an online relationship with an “instafamous” girl from Dallas. Sh** got real.

As we all know, “rapper” sends alarm bells ringing as Nev and Max have been stung by their type before. Chances are, dude ain’t a big time music success story.

But you won’t get any spoilers here. Promise.

I did, however, just want to pick up on a comment that Max makes. “Always rappers. It’s never a ukulele player.”

Oh Max! And you were my favourite!

In my case it was a fricking ukulele-playing-wannabe-hipster-lying-assholey kinda musician.

And, no, he didn’t pretend to be someone else. He just pretended to be in love with me. He used to sing me love songs while playing that f***ing ukulele.

When he went to work in New York last summer I actually bought myself a ukulele and downloaded a bunch of apps to learn to play. I was going to surprise him. I know. I’m cringing too.

But, of course, he had a bigger surprise for me. The pizza of doom.

I’d smash that ukulele over his f***ing head. Hard.

So, Max, yes – just sometimes – they are ukulele players.

I got this

8 Oct

I’m a big fan of the TV show Catfish. My ex and I used to watch it together. In fact, when we spoke after the break up I told him I felt like I’d been Catfished. I knew that would hurt. I still do feel like I’ve been Catfished, to be honest.

For anyone who isn’t obsessed with MTV, Catfish is a TV show where people involved in online relationships track down their other online half with the help of Nev and Max (very attractive individuals who are also social media detectives). So far in every episode but one, the person at the other end of email has turned out to be someone quite different from who they said they were.

Anyway, this week’s episode was pretty damn emotional.

The dude was involved (online) with a very hot girl. They had been chatting for three and a half years and were in love. But – here’s the twist – hot girl turned out to be an overweight lady who’d been in a car accident and was left with a glass eye. Very sad stuff.

The dude flipped out and didn’t really want anything to do with her.

But Nev and Max (who I am really quite in love with myself) went back to talk to her and find out why she became a Catfish. This poor girl talked through the past four years of her life. How she had to leave high school because she had so many surgeries, how she put on 130 lbs through medication, how she lost her eye, how her boyfriend at the time broke up with her, and how she set up a fake online profile and starting talking to this guy. How his love got her through everything.

This turned out to be one of the most inspiring things I’ve ever seen on MTV. After talking through her whole story – which totally had me in tears – she smiled and said, “You know what? I got this. I’m going to be OK.”

Well, my blogger buddies, after seeing him yesterday unexpectedly through the bus window, I’ve been thinking about him a lot today. And stressing about work. And dealing with this awful cold. I saw my counsellor tonight, which was great timing because that sinking feeling was really kicking in again.

But, you know what? I got this.