Tag Archives: Carrie Bradshaw

A different take on the same old problem

28 Sep

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Sometimes I feel so lonely I could die.

I’ve had a run of weekends recently when none of my friends were about. This is perhaps the fourth weekend in a row that I’ve spent swimming, going to yoga, and watching TV. This weekend I decided to start watching ‘Sex and the City’ from the beginning. There is no better therapy. So much of it rings so true. And it makes me feel OK to admit certain things to myself. Like the loneliness. The fear of dying alone. The resentment of smug couples and yummy mummies.

It hit me somewhere between Season 1 and Season 2 that – although I want to meet someone – what I’m really missing right now is, well, more friends. I don’t want to paint myself as a total loser. I do have friends. But a combination of factors means most of them don’t live in London. Or, don’t live in London anymore. Work is super sociable. During the week I’m surrounded by colleagues who I genuinely consider to be friends. But the weekends. Ugh. There’s nobody, unless I jump on a train to Scotland (which I’ve been doing more and more of this past year).

So maybe what I want isn’t necessarily a boyfriend.

I watch ‘Sex and the City’ and I’m so envious of that group of women with each other to turn to. That’s another thing – most of my friends in London are men. They’re fun. They’re great company. But it’s not the same as having a group of girlfriends.

So what do I do?

There’s no way I’m ever moving back to Scotland. But maybe I need to hit “Restart” on my social life.

I have tried this past year. I started yoga to try and meet new people. I didn’t meet anyone, but I discovered I love yoga. Maybe language classes would be more sociable? So I started Italian, but three classes in I couldn’t keep up with the homework and had to forget it.

If only there was a Tinder for making new friends. I have no idea how at the age of 32, settled with a flat and a career and ready-made life I go about creating a new social circle. Any ideas?

Because more and more I’m feeling like I need to prioritise. And as much as I want someone to go through life with, and marriage, and kids, and happily ever after, I also want someone to call after I’ve been on dates, and talk to before them, and visit Topshop with, and bitch about work over coffee, and eat pizza and watch DVDs.

I actually have a date this afternoon. I almost forgot.

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Am I Carrie Bradshaw?

11 May

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At university I lived with my three best friends. There was a couple of months at the start of fourth year when due to technical difficulties we had no television. Imagine. Instead, we hooked up an old VCR in the kitchen and worked our way through my Sex And The City videos.

Naturally, “Which character are you?” became a big topic of conversation. Which is silly. Because, whether we liked it or not, we were all Charlotte.

But I wanted to be Carrie. I’m short. I liked writing. I loved clothes. Carrie, right?

Which goes some way to explaining how little I knew about life when I was 21. I had no concept of what the show was really about, and no real empathy or understanding for the situations these women found themselves in.

Now I do.

And Carrie can be such an asshole. So selfish. So deluded. But who can blame her? She’s lonely as f***. No amount of Manolos is going to change that.

At 32, I kind of get this show in a way that I couldn’t ten years ago. And instead of proudly declaring, “I’m Carrie!” I have to kind of cringe and wonder, “Am I Carrie?”. Although I would never cheat on Aidan. Never.

Yesterday there was a Sex And The City marathon on E! which I found myself glued to. The episode of Carrie’s book launch was on. A book launch! I can’t think of anything better than writing a book and actually having it published and PRd up to the eyeballs.

But even in that moment of glory, Carrie isn’t happy. In fact, she tells Charlotte, “I’m lonely. The loneliness is palpable.” while surrounded by people there to celebrate her and her success.

Which goes to show, life means less without someone to share it with.

But then I guess if Carrie and Big had got together in the pilot when she had that awful brown here (I’m brunette and proud, but it did nothing for SJP), there would have been no twists in the road. No Aidan. No Burger. No horrible Russian artist weirdo. No story to tell.

And, like all writers, I do love a good story.