I didn’t end things with Irish Two on Tuesday. I will on Saturday. Much more to be explained, but on Tuesday I made him talk to me. Really talk to me. About his exes, his family, his friends. Trying to get a sense of anyone he’s connected to.
It made me realise with renewed ferociousness how our relationships change us. Forever.
I am changed. Changed through my relationship with my ex. Changed by our breakup. In all kinds of ways, and I’m sure even more to come that I haven’t even realised yet.
I used to be a huge fan of the musical Wicked. It’s harder to be a fan now. That last weekend my ex and I were together in New York I got us tickets to see it on Broadway. We held hands through the whole thing. It was a clammy July night. We rode the subway back downtown, drank cocktails and ate oysters on Water Street.
Not being able to listen to the Wicked soundtrack – just another way I’m changed.
But tonight I let myself listen to the song ‘For Good’.
I knew it would hurt.
Of course, the song is about best friends, not a couple. But much of it rings true.
He’s still with me, like a handprint on my heart. So much of me is made of what I learned from him. And, whatever way my story ends, I know he has rewritten it.
He’s changed me for good.
But not for the better. I’ve done that on my own.
Pizza of Doom 
Recent Comments