Tag Archives: beach

Sea tears

10 May

I’ve been quiet this week because, well, I’ve been lying on the beach. I’ve got into a nice routine, starting with a 6 am run every morning.

But this morning was tricky. Because last night I dreamt about him.

I dreamt I was at a hotel in Ireland. And everyone was telling me that this is where we were supposed to get married. I’m not sure who these bearers of upsetting news were. I seemed to be on my own. I guess the hotel staff just wanted to rub salt into the wound.

Anyway, made myself get up and run in spite of waking up close to tears. I ran as far as I could on the beach, then kicked off my trainers and walked back through the water.

And it’s only then I realised I was crying. Salty, watery sea tears.

That dream is what it all boils down to. For all the times he told me he’d spent his whole life looking for me, I genuinely felt I’d spent my whole life looking for him. I loved him unconditionally. And, yes, I wanted to marry him and spend my life with him.

But it will never happen.

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A great day to be alive

21 Nov

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I had a blissful day. Just look at how it started. A chilled red velvet latte on the beach. Could a girl ask for anything more?

(By the way, no trouble getting parked at the beach, but serious issues getting parked at Dunkin Donuts. I’m not surprised. Those guys really know what they are doing with sugar and caffeine.)

Anyway. I digress.

I heard a couple of old men talking on the beach. One said to the other, “Another great day to be alive.”

For the first time in a very long time, I’ve got to agree.

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The beach

13 Nov

Florida is bliss.

I’ll let you in on a secret: it’s actually not sunny today. But, I’ve spent the past two days on the beach, so I’m not complaining.

The beach here is my happy place. Whenever I am trying to be calm and focused in life – in Pilates, before big presentations, when things feel like they are falling apart – this is the place that I picture. My family have been coming here since long before I was even born. Which is a looonnnngggg time ago. These days I am here at least once a year, usually in November when London gets too cold.

Walking on the beach yesterday I was thinking just how many memories I have tied to it. Running around as a kid, playing with my barbies in the water. Reading Sweet Valley Twins books on a sun lounger. And, as I got older, walking along beside that turquoise water, just thinking.

I’ve walked that beach wondering when I would ever find a job after I graduated university. I’ve walked while beyond ecstatic that I had just got my first role as a copywriter. I’ve walked knowing that in a few months I was going to work in New York. I’ve walked pining for my Secret Work Boyfriend, and fighting with the ex before the ex. And, of course, last year I walked along there daydreaming about my ex. So far this year, most of my walks have involved fairly sad conversations in my head.

But it’s got me thinking, I wonder what will be in my head as I walk this beach next November?

Looking out on the Gulf of Mexico, there’s nothing but sky and water. Of course, sometimes clouds come over. But, the thing is, they always pass.

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