Still here

22 Oct

Oh, hello again.

In the past 48 hours I’ve had four readers ask me why I’m not blogging anymore. Man. I felt bad.

My dear buddies, I am still here.

Truth be told, as well as being busy at work, I’ve felt a bit like I’ve let you all down.

Because I’ve been feeling a bit sad.

Day to day, I’m fine. I’m doing enough yoga to turn me into elastic. Work is going well. Pumpkin spice lattes are back (yay!). But I feel like there’s a sadness under my skin that won’t shift.

Dear God, I’m so embarrassed to say it, but here we go: I’m not over him. Nearly 15 months on, I still cry over my ex. Is that at all normal? Probably not.

I’m ashamed to write any more sad little posts rambling about my heartbreak.

So, starting tomorrow, I’m making a shift here on Pizza of Doom. I’m going to try and be more empowering. Although I’m mad at myself for still being sad, I’m also stunned at myself for how far I’ve come in the past year. So that’s the side I’m focusing on.

You all know I’m a heartbroken cat. But from now on this is my space to talk about everything I can do in spite of feeling sad. And, of course, moan about the absolute horror of being single in my thirties.

I’ll do you proud, buddies.


5 Responses to “Still here”

  1. riri1124 October 22, 2014 at 8:18 pm #

    “Dear God, I’m so embarrassed to say it, but here we go: I’m not over him. Nearly 15 months on, I still cry over my ex. Is that at all normal? Probably not.”
    D- to the- i -tto.
    I tried/try to post upbeat stuff as well, but alas; I have a ton of sorrow/anger to unload still.
    It is unbelievable, huh?
    Never in a million years would I have predicted this.
    I can be dancing around my kitchen one minute, then spot a “Bob Reminder” out of the corner of my eye and start sobbing.
    Post what you need to, when you need to. Your heart and soul are what you need to protect and nurture.
    I wish the best for you. ❤

    • aprileb October 23, 2014 at 5:16 pm #

      Awwww, thank you. Like you say, I never predicted this. I thought I’d have all but forgotten him by now. He haunts me x

  2. luciddream85 October 22, 2014 at 9:04 pm #

    I was on my way to ask you where you were when I saw your post.

    I cried for three years over Chesley. I cried for 8 years over Tim. I’m still crying over Andy and he has been gone almost a year.

    Sometimes people are just sad about who they lose. They are sad because they invested so much love and time and emotion and it hurts like an mfer that they are gone. And it hurts even more to know you will never have them again.

    It’s normal and you’re allowed to be sad. For as long as you want. Just as long as you don’t let it consume your entire life.

  3. notbatty October 22, 2014 at 10:17 pm #

    Hang on in there. You’re not alone. Thanks for being so honest, it makes me feel not alone too.

    • aprileb October 23, 2014 at 5:14 pm #

      And that makes me feel not alone! Thank you x

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