Go for a smear test (just expect some awkward conversation)

31 Jul

Ladies, please make sure you have regular smear tests. They might just save your life.

That said, I went for mine this morning. Not the greatest experience at the best of times, but picture the scene:

I am on the table, half naked, legs akimbo, trying not to clench my fists because I find this test so extremely unpleasant.

The Nurse (a truly lovely lady called Dora who has spent the past ten minutes remarking on how beautiful my name and my face are) is down there, light on for examination purposes, doing her thing.

And just as I’m squeezing my eyes shut and trying not to squirm, she asks me:

“Are you married?”

8 Responses to “Go for a smear test (just expect some awkward conversation)”

  1. luciddream85 July 31, 2014 at 1:03 pm #

    Ugh. Wonderful. If you had of said yes, the next question would have been about your children.

    • aprileb August 1, 2014 at 2:13 pm #

      Oh I’d already been asked about the children! I’d also told her I hadn’t had sex in six months, so I guess she doesn’t have high hopes for marriages anyway! x

  2. elizabethhiggins July 31, 2014 at 2:25 pm #

    God, I have mine next week. NOT looking forward to it. Nothing like being felt up and being asked if your in a relationship at the same time.

    • aprileb August 1, 2014 at 2:12 pm #

      The joys, my love. The joys of it all. x

  3. jadedwildcat August 1, 2014 at 2:27 am #

    aghhhh ok I confess I’ve never done that test before, but probably should – though you’re not selling it very well!!! X_X

    • aprileb August 1, 2014 at 2:12 pm #

      Ahhh, well if I haven’t sold it well then let me sell it now: it lasts about two minutes and it really could save your life. I know two girls who’ve been diagnosed with cervical cancer in their 20s. Don’t mess around with this stuff! Please get tested! x


  1. All adventurous women do | Pizza of Doom - August 14, 2014

    […] went downstairs to get some fresh air and checked my mail. And there were the results of my smear test. I started opening them there and then, fully expecting them to say that everything was […]

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    […] wasn’t nearly as bad as I had worried it would be. Honestly, not even as bad as the smear test itself. Once I was positioned right with my legs up in the air, I relaxed. It felt like a yoga pose. I […]

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