9 Jul


I can’t be bothered with men.

At our company conference on Friday I gave our CFO access to my Tinder account. In fact, I let her play on it for a good thirty minutes or so and hook me up with lots of men. I would like to say “young, hot men” or “eligible bachelors”. But I’d be lying.

It gave me a kick start, though. I’d not been on a dating site in a couple of weeks, and suddenly I had ten guys messaging me. But why does everyone want to talk on the phone, though?

It’s not that I can’t hold a conversation or worry about talking on the phone. I think my voice is nice enough. I can chat away to anyone. But I’m really, really busy right now.

I have no time to spend evenings speaking to men I don’t know. I’m busy learning Italian and going to awards ceremonies and visiting friends and doing yoga and eating olives.

I guess, if I was really interested, I would make time. I do allocate a fairly generous number of hours to my favourite television shows.

So maybe I’m just not ready?

In fact, if I consider what would happen if I actually met someone. Well. Wait. I can’t imagine it. I can’t imagine liking anyone right now. Not in a sad “ohmygodI’llbealoneforever” way. It’s just I’m enjoying getting to know myself again. Because I’ve changed. And I’m so fun to hang out with. It’s nice to rediscover how happy I can be in my own company.

I do want to meet someone one day. Of course I do. But for now I might take a datecation and relieve myself of the boring text chat and ongoing requests to talk on the phone.

Or maybe I’ll just wait for a dude with some decent manners who can muster up the energy to actually ask me out.

12 Responses to “Datecation?”

  1. jadedwildcat July 9, 2014 at 2:00 pm #

    Wow, you should go back and read some posts of yours from earlier this year, April, and then read this one – it’s absolutely incredible how much you’ve grown and changed and HEALED 🙂 Very happy to see it and hugs to you for getting here… x

    P.S. I blogged a little while ago about Tinder and how much it actually sucks haha. Not the greatest site to meet men unless what you’re wanting is just a random hook-up here or there!

    • aprileb July 9, 2014 at 2:14 pm #

      Thank you, buddy. I have been back and reread a lot of stuff recently, which is the wonder of a blog. Damn, November was tough. I’m excited to feel like myself again. Genuinely excited. I’m horribly hormonal at the moment and still getting up at 5.30am to run every day and arriving at work with a big smile on my face and plans for the day. I’m proof: it gets easier.

      I do feel so desperately sad for the April from one year ago who didn’t know what was right around the corner.

      But this April, here and now, she’s OK. x

      • jadedwildcat July 10, 2014 at 3:32 am #

        Very glad to hear. If anyone needs to see proof of things getting better, it’s me, right here and now. So thank you for blogging your progress. X

  2. Ethan Michael Carter July 9, 2014 at 2:11 pm #

    Lol I found your post so very true, and on so many levels.

    If it helps, what you’re going through is widespread.

    I get a lot of coaching clients/ queries from guys that are struggling with their dating life i.e. how to talk to women, how to successfully date etc.

    Most of these men (around 90%) have — at some point — turned to the PUA (Pick Up Artist) industry for tips and advice on this subject.

    Problem being, most of the information that these so called dating ‘gurus’ provide, is — technically put — BS!

    The reason why all these guys are trying to get you to talk on the phone is because they are doing something called ‘escalating’.

    It is something that is commonly ‘taught’ in these PUA books. Guys are told that if they are not constantly escalating during the interaction, then they will be ‘disqualified’ (another term that’s used a LOT in these books).

    They even (don’t laugh too hard) are told that they can only text a woman for a specific amount of time before they MUST (panic, panic, PAANNIICC) escalate a woman to the phone stage; or risk losing you forever! Lol

    Hope that helped.

    • aprileb July 9, 2014 at 2:12 pm #

      Oh I’m all for that. If a guy emails me three times and doesn’t suggest a date, I ignore him. But why talking on the phone? I just don’t have time! Why not escalate it all the way to – shock horror – a coffee or a drink?!

      • Ethan Michael Carter July 9, 2014 at 2:23 pm #

        A coffee? BEFORE a phone conversation? Back up there missy! Lol
        Seriously though, I agree with you. Especially in this day and age, where we are all so busy; the most convenient (even entertaining, if a guy has a sense of humor) way of doing things, would be a few texts that lead to a – shock horror – face to face interaction. That is what I teach.
        But alas, I’m only one man that spends most of his time screenwriting; and can only so much for the dating industry.
        So, for every guy I teach, there are about a hundred that are being brainwashed into following the Text – Phone – Date protocols of the PUA industry!

  3. outstandingbachelor July 9, 2014 at 3:28 pm #

    I late that term – ‘datecation.’ I am going to use it sometime.

  4. luciddream85 July 9, 2014 at 4:13 pm #

    This is progress. This is awesome. You should hug your therapist and yourself for all of this amazing progress. Keep pushing forward!

    • aprileb July 9, 2014 at 5:39 pm #

      Thanks, buddy. Keeping busy really is the best way to recover. It only took me eleven miserable months to work it out!

  5. elizabethhiggins July 9, 2014 at 9:57 pm #

    I think this has to be the funniest post you have ever written, and I love it.

    • aprileb July 10, 2014 at 7:18 am #

      Thanks, love. I need to mail you after YOUR date. Sorry to hear it was a datetastrophe, but like I told you: you either get a snog or you get a story, right?


  1. Datecation? | TinderNews - July 9, 2014

    […] Link: Datecation? […]

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