Oh. Wow. I’m tired.
We’re launching a new website at work tomorrow. I haven’t stopped in days. And when we get to this stage and stakeholders get involved for sign off, every meeting means unpicking work already done. Going back. Rewriting. Redesigning. Recoding.
It’s frustrating because you invest hours and even days in work that goes nowhere. But for all the reworking, you do end up with a better product.
Sound familiar?
Excuse the stretched out metaphor, but it’s easy to feel like you’ve wasted time and energy, love and hope on relationships that don’t work out. You think you’ve met “the one”, everything is great, and then – boom – you’re back to the start. Picking up the pieces. Trying to date again. Building new connections. That’s really tough. And quite the head f***.
I know since the pizza of doom I’ve felt like I wasted a huge life investment.
But if I can keep the faith that this website is going to be worth the insane amounts of effort, I can keep the faith that my life will be worth all the relationship resets.
And I’ve never been afraid of a little hard work.
Pizza of Doom 
You took the words right out of my mouth for most of this blog. God do I ever feel like I wasted so much… invested so so much of myself and my time and my heart and SOUL… only to have it come crashing down…
I feel scared and repulsed at the idea of having to start again. I don’t even know where to look or start…
I feel turned off by the idea of doing it all over again, getting to know someone all over again from scratch, going through all the ‘me toos’ and ‘omg I can’t wait to see you again’ crap… because what if yet again it’s a failure???
At the same time though, I can’t stand being alone. I’m functional, I can work and take care of myself and others so BEING alone isn’t the problem I don’t think – it’s just wanting someone to share my life with, to laugh and talk with, the quote stupid movies or Simpsons with and just to BE with.
I’m so crushed.
I’m glad to see you doing well though. As always, it helps me to think that one day I’ll get there too…