Why can’t I stop

12 May

1. Obsessing over the fact (which is actually more of a hunch, an intuition) that he’s with someone else.

2. Crying. I’m on vacation. Come on!

3. Imagining this hypothetical new girlfriend of his meeting his family, meeting his friends.

4. Thinking about him at all.

5. Going over and over and over the words “it’s not fair”.

5 Responses to “Why can’t I stop”

  1. jadedwildcat May 13, 2014 at 3:40 am #

    Gosh April, it’s been such a long time since I started reading your blog… pretty much a year once summer really starts up. It’s so sad to see you still so messed up over your ex, and I just wanted to ask… do you want him back?
    Like, if you were to come face to face with him in a scenario where he was maybe apologizing and wanting to come back, would you let him? Just sort of wondering if that would help ease your pain or… if maybe you’re just grieving but still don’t want him back?
    I just wish I could help since I know so well the agony you’re going through. I just hoped that by now you’d be doing a lot better… it’s awful to think that you’re still obsessing over these things 😦 Hugs, I hope that you can move forward soon, and see the beauty that is life again. Expend your energies towards the recognition and enjoyment of that beauty instead of wasting so much of it on him. He didn’t deserve you! Not at all. ❤ Best of luck honey.

  2. thewholeheartedblog May 13, 2014 at 6:41 pm #

    Hey, could be worse. It’s all over fb for me. The meeting of the family and best friends and all. Stings.

  3. theshanshuprophecy May 14, 2014 at 7:36 am #

    Some people change us on a fundamental, cellular level. It’s not always for the best, is just is.

  4. Shanmoo February 20, 2015 at 9:09 pm #

    Over 10 months on and I am still doing this. Still letting him sit in my head for most of the day, evening, night, dreams….


  1. Why can’t I stop | Forlorn Hope: A Diary Of A Broken Heart - May 20, 2014

    […] Why can't I stop. […]

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