Sea tears

I’ve been quiet this week because, well, I’ve been lying on the beach. I’ve got into a nice routine, starting with a 6 am run every morning.

But this morning was tricky. Because last night I dreamt about him.

I dreamt I was at a hotel in Ireland. And everyone was telling me that this is where we were supposed to get married. I’m not sure who these bearers of upsetting news were. I seemed to be on my own. I guess the hotel staff just wanted to rub salt into the wound.

Anyway, made myself get up and run in spite of waking up close to tears. I ran as far as I could on the beach, then kicked off my trainers and walked back through the water.

And it’s only then I realised I was crying. Salty, watery sea tears.

That dream is what it all boils down to. For all the times he told me he’d spent his whole life looking for me, I genuinely felt I’d spent my whole life looking for him. I loved him unconditionally. And, yes, I wanted to marry him and spend my life with him.

But it will never happen.

Tags: beach, break up, breakup, dreams, exboyfriend, getting over ex, grief, love, marriage, running, single, single in thirties