Breaking the connections

29 Apr

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My keys arrived this morning. Sent from the ex in a package addressed to a friend at work (as requested). Wrapped in tissue. No note. He had already told my friend who was good enough to email and organise the whole thing that he wasn’t putting in a note as he assumed I didn’t want any communication. I wouldn’t have minded a note. I’d have liked an apology.

But the main thing is, I have my keys back.

Just as I was breathing a sigh of relief, I logged onto LinkedIn and saw an update of him connecting with some blonde lawyer girl. My stomach lurched. Clearly this was his new girlfriend. There could be no other explanation, right?

Craziness set in as I came over all Nev from Catfish googling the poor girl on every social network. Turns out she’s married to someone else, so not his girlfriend.

I took this as a sign. It’s time to step back from being mental. I deleted him as a contact on LinkedIn.

There is nothing left connecting us. Nothing at all.

Except the memory of the happiest time in my life. And the pictures in my head of him, our walks in the park, his family, his friends, drinking negronis, kissing (lots), waking up together, blurry Sunday mornings in bed, and that safe, warm feeling of being totally besotted with my life.

And the horrible realisation that is was all fake.

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6 Responses to “Breaking the connections”

  1. elizabethhiggins April 29, 2014 at 9:40 pm #

    It is so hard the day that all connections are torn. Mine was only a couple of weeks ago. Isn’t it supposed to feel relieving?

    • aprileb April 29, 2014 at 9:43 pm #

      I feel a little relieved that there’s no way he can hurt me now. But also deeply sad. That’s it. Done. The love of my life. It all meant nothing and came down to hitting a button on a networking site. Humph. Not sure how I feel now. How are you doing? X

      • elizabethhiggins April 29, 2014 at 9:47 pm #

        I’m okay – I saw the ex on Saturday at a get together at a friends and it still has me frazzled. We didn’t’ talk at all, and he sent me a text at 4am, asking “did I do okay?” I told him he did a great job pretending to be happy and put up with me being there and he replied with “I wasn’t pretending.”

      • aprileb April 30, 2014 at 8:26 am #

        Ugh. I don’t know how you cope in the same social circles as him. I know I couldn’t. But look how far you’ve come to get through that. I’m really pleased for you that you dealt with that. And he texted YOU after, not the other way around. Go, Elizabeth! x

      • elizabethhiggins April 29, 2014 at 10:38 pm #

        Watch some Teen Mom and cheer yourself up!

  2. foodfortoomuchthought April 29, 2014 at 11:32 pm #

    Don’t take it away from yourself, don’t assume that just because his feelings changed that they were never real at all.
    It’s just a balancing game: he made you so very happy but mannnn what a douche for hurting you so much more. The pain is outweighing the happiness he ever gave you right now but please don’t let it consume you.
    You’re far too fun with a fabulous personality and way of looking at things that always puts a smile on my face.

    You’re number one, remember that xx

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