Saturday night

5 Apr

I’ve had such a nice day visiting a friend outside London. We laughed a lot. I came home in the early evening because I’m tired and wanted some time to relax in my own flat before getting some good sleeps.

It’s the first Saturday night I’ve spent alone since the start of the year.

I seem to be unable to stop crying.

Next Saturday night I’ll be on my own in New York.

Goodness knows what my heart’s going to do with that situation. I’m packing plenty of tissues.

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13 Responses to “Saturday night”

  1. elizabethhiggins April 5, 2014 at 9:02 pm #

    It’s too bad New York isn’t closer to Maine!

    • aprileb April 6, 2014 at 5:53 pm #

      I know! If I am ever in Maine we are hanging out!

      • elizabethhiggins April 6, 2014 at 10:18 pm #

        Yes we are!

      • aprileb April 7, 2014 at 1:56 pm #

        You never write anymore! I miss you! I worry about you! Hope you are doing OK x

      • elizabethhiggins April 7, 2014 at 8:42 pm #

        Haha I was going to say, I have too been writing, where have you been?!

      • aprileb April 7, 2014 at 8:45 pm #

        Seriously! WordPress took you away. So rude. Then it suggested I follow you and I was like, “well, I do. Duh.” Anyway. I’ve just read your last few posts. Ups and downs, just like me. Sigh. What flavours of coffee will I get to drink when I’m in the States this weekend?

      • elizabethhiggins April 7, 2014 at 8:48 pm #

        I’m a big fan of caramel swirl lately and blueberry because it’s springy! Yeah, definite ups and downs. I just came home from work to the rest of my stuff on my doorstep from him, and cried for a half an hour. What a way to end a Monday.

      • aprileb April 7, 2014 at 8:52 pm #

        Oh jeeeez. That is a tough end to a Monday. At least that’s it done. Think of it as a fresh start rather than a sad ending. Easier said than done, I know. I am considering how to go about finally getting my house keys back from my ex (without having to speak to him myself) and trying to tell myself this is it. Final hurdle, and I’m free. All I have to contend with is in my own mind once I finally get those keys back. I guess you need I to try and do the same. I never thought I would still feel this sad by now – I’m sure you’re the same – but one great thing with the blog is you can look back and realise how far you have come. So you put that stuff way, even if you just shove it out of sight until you are ready to deal with it. Take a deep breath. Put on some Taylor Swift. And remember you are very young and very cute and you can finally move on. X

      • elizabethhiggins April 7, 2014 at 8:58 pm #

        Thank you, I needed to hear that. I shoved the stuff at the bottom of my dirty laundry so that I can’t see it. But not before sobbing and smelling it to see if it smelled like him. It did. How pathetic is that?

        It’s a hard last step, it really is. I don’t feel free yet, but maybe later on I will. Maybe when we meet the next guys who will sweep us off our feet, we both finally will.

      • aprileb April 7, 2014 at 9:04 pm #

        I still have my stuff that my ex returned in September in a bag at the bottom of my wardrobe. I still can’t face unpacking it. I still sometimes smell it. You’re not pathetic, you’re totally normal.

        And yes, when these newer, better men arrive in our lives, it will all just seem like a bad dream. But a bad dream that you’ve grown and got stronger from.

      • elizabethhiggins April 7, 2014 at 9:12 pm #

        I hope things get better, I really do. This sucks.

  2. luciddream85 April 6, 2014 at 6:23 pm #

    And if you ever come to North Carolina, let me know!!

    • aprileb April 6, 2014 at 6:32 pm #

      You betcha! I’ve been to South Carolina, but never North. I’ll need to add it to my list.

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