Being a Grinch (sorry)

10 Dec

Christmas is a funny time. Every year of my entire life I have spent Christmas with my family, and stayed at my parents’ house (although there have been years we spent Christmas Day at my Aunt’s, or my sister’s). Which is very nice for me, really. I realise there are a lot of people that don’t have family to be with, or who can’t be with their family due to distance or circumstances.

But I’m 31.

I still feel like when I get on the train from London, it’s as if I’m a 19-year-old student coming home from university for the holidays, or a school kid finishing up for Christmas break. I’m a grown up. And yet I feel like an overgrown kid.

I just wish that I had someone to share it all with. My Mum and Dad have each other, my sister has her husband and her kids. And then there’s me.

When my sister was 31 she was married. When my Mum was 31 she was married with a kid.

We’re spending Christmas Day at my sister’s house this year. My nephews. My sister and brother-in-law. My Mum and Dad. My sister’s in-laws. And me. Singular.

Believe me, I know I’m a lucky cat and I feel very guilty for feeling the way I do.

But I feel empty.

3 Responses to “Being a Grinch (sorry)”

  1. jadedwildcat December 10, 2013 at 10:49 pm #

    I dedicated a bit of a post to you the other day! Wonder if you’re feeling better about that whole topic…

    And hey yeah, I’m battling the same kind of thing – except in my case, I do have an older brother who’s divorced and so, it should make me feel better that I won’t be the only one totally alone on Christmas morning but… he tells me that Christmas is mostly about family anyway….and to just remember that’s why we’re all together and really, we’ve had more Christmases together just as family (without significant others) so I should just focus on that…
    Shrug =\

  2. elizabethhiggins December 10, 2013 at 11:02 pm #

    I feel the same way. Sometimes it just sucks. 😦

  3. ifthebootfitz December 11, 2013 at 2:46 am #

    We all feel a bit lonely during the holiday season (us single folks) so i feel your pain. Especially since this time a few years ago is when my loved one broke up with me. Take this and make it a goal for next year to have someone to share it with! Tell yourself that you will meet someone, dream about it, and make it happen! just my bit of advice for tonight. Hope you have a wonderful rest of your day (or night) and smile a bit. Sending hugs your way! xoxo, your wordpress friend.

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