First day back in the office

25 Nov

It is hard being back in London. I feel like I’ve gone back in time and everything is reminding me of him with renewed ferociousness. My bus journey, my walk to the office, everything just sucks. I hate it all. Why can’t I go back to last year and be the happiest cat alive that I had met him? Why can’t he pop up on MSN and tell me I’m beautiful?

Because he dumped me. That’s why.

Oh, yeah, and he was never in love with me anyway.

I walked straight into the most confusing briefing ever at work. I have loads to do, over 200 emails to sort through, half my team appears to be off sick/on holiday/out of the office.

I just don’t like my life any more. I feel overwhelmed with sadness. And I don’t know how to change it.

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8 Responses to “First day back in the office”

  1. mick1982 November 25, 2013 at 2:58 pm #

    The first day back from vacation always suckss. Then when you have the heartbreak on top of it it compounds the problem. Once you get through the first day back by like, say tonight, you will feel a little better. I promise:)

    • aprileb November 25, 2013 at 3:14 pm #

      Thanks, buddy. I booked a massage for tonight to cheer myself up! And i have a big client presentation tomorrow to prepare for, so that will keep me busy. I just don’t know that I want to live here anymore. It’s too full of memories. Nearly 10 years living in – and loving – London, and I feel like it’s all ruined. : (

  2. mick1982 November 25, 2013 at 4:33 pm #

    I have never been to London but I can imagine it is as wonderful of a city as anywhere in the world. I think if you left there you might regret that down the road and also feel like you gave up, which could cause more regret. There is sooo much love there I’m sure you just have to find it. Sometimes with heartbreak I wish they just told us a date when it would all be better. Like if they said January 1—no more pain. Then we would just have to kill time until then. Either way, like they always say, just take it one day at a time. And enjoy that massage tonight:)

    • aprileb November 25, 2013 at 10:14 pm #

      Well, it is a great city. You are right, and I will stick it out and see how I feel in six months. The massage was amazing! Really brightened up my Monday.

    • aprileb November 25, 2013 at 10:16 pm #

      Also you are completely right. If I had a date when I would be ok it would be so much easier. Of course, it doesn’t just happen, does it? I honestly thought I would be fine by now. I also didn’t realise I was capable of crying so much! Your words always make me feel better. Thank you.

  3. elizabethhiggins November 25, 2013 at 9:30 pm #

    Have you ever thought that maybe he’s not good enough for you? That maybe him feeling pompous enough to tell you that he can’t talk to you during PMS or have sex during the week is just him going through some sick control period, and dragging you down with him? I honestly hate this guy for making him feel like you’re not enough, because you are. Girl, you have it all. You’re gorgeous, thoughtful, and smart as hell and maybe he simply couldn’t handle it. You’re enough, and this has nothing to do with you. He did you a favor, and there is one lucky guy out there who can’t wait to find you.

    Plus, you have great hair. xx

    • aprileb November 25, 2013 at 10:12 pm #

      Thank you, buddy. I appreciate it. I hope one day I will be able to see that he did me a favour. You’re right. I do have great hair. Also, my flat smells amazing from all the candles I brought home from the US. I think thus time of the year makes stuff harder. X

  4. Aussa Lorens November 26, 2013 at 12:25 am #

    I’m sorry love, this is just a really bad time but they do get better. It’s a really shitty cliche but time will help.
    Good luck getting through those emails, AND this is the time of year when no one achieves anything at work, so at least the pressure should be off there. It’s just about surviving for now.

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