I had decided I was going to feel a lot better when I got back from holiday. I thought the time away would have put distance between me and the horrible, horrible past few months.
But for some reason I’m unable to stop crying.
When I booked my holiday, I still thought I was going to be living with him by now. After all, that’s what he had planned. I thought – for once – I would be coming home to someone. To the heating turned on. To food in the fridge. To a cuddle.
I came home to an empty flat. Empty fridge. Empty heart.
Sometimes it feels like my life is going backwards.
Pizza of Doom 
The weird thing is… as sad and empty and heartbroken as you feel, you are really doing things the right way, and I want you to know that.
Some of us just never learn how to cope and push through pain; we instead turn to other things to make it better, or mask it. Or worse, some of us end up going through it again and again somehow.
I feel you’re really on the road to just finding yourself and where you can be truly content. You’re weathering all the bad stuff first is all. x
Thank you, buddy. I needed to hear that x
Sidenote: When I clicked to “Like” the post I’m not clicking to say I “Like” that you are absolutely miserable but that I understand where your coming from and I “Like” that you can express your pain which no doubt is a good thing. Something felt kinda weird about clicking “Like” after a post like that. Just wanted you to know that lol
Ha! Don’t worry, I know. I often have the same thought.