Emotionally bankrupt

7 Nov

Today I had ‘Leadership Training’ all day at work.

I was not expecting this to be so emotional.

First, I had to write a letter to myself from Future April. This was something to do with having vision. It also felt a lot like torture. I had to project myself five years forward in time and write myself a letter about what was going on in life. All I could think was, “Please let me be married and at least pregnant. Or, at the very, very least, let me have a cat.” I also added some work-related stuff. Kind of felt I had to.

Next, we had to decide on actions that would enable us to make that vision a reality. Emmmmm. What can I do? Dating sites? Buy a husband? If only life was that simple.

I started to muse over how similar this is to winning new business. As an agency our priority is to win new accounts. But, however well we present ourselves and pitch, there are so many factors outwith our control. Clients are unpredictable and cannot be trusted. Much like dating.

Then, we discussed the ‘emotional bank’. I won’t go into this in detail because it’s quite distressing. I realised I am emotionally bankrupt. It’s a lot to take in on a Thursday morning.

Finally, we talked about balance. Because, to keep ourselves in tiptop business leader shape, we need to achieve balance in our lives. Which means having supportive people around you, having hobbies and things to believe in.

Pretty much everyone else started telling cute stories about their kids and their partners. I mumbled something about doing pilates on Saturday mornings.

The trainer woman clearly sensed that I have nothing to live for and asked me about my spirituality/religion.

I replied, “I’ve seen a lot of psychics recently.”

That was an awkward moment.

I’m not sure what I learned about leadership today. I also suspect that I scared my colleagues a little.

But, on the bus coming home tonight I met a really nice dog. So the day wasn’t a total disaster.

6 Responses to “Emotionally bankrupt”

  1. luciddream85 November 7, 2013 at 9:22 pm #

    Oh well. If they could have done this exercise before the Pizza of Doom, it would have went so much better. Asshats. Nevermind you didn’t have this job before all of this. But still, they need to consider that not everyone has a friggin picket fence in their lives and want to talk about their emotional bank.

    • aprileb November 7, 2013 at 9:31 pm #

      I can actually laugh about it now. The dude sitting beside me was like, “So do you have kids?”
      “Family in London?”
      “I write and I watch television.”
      “Ohhhhh. I like television.”

      You’re right, though. If I had done this exercise a few months ago I would have been raving about my amazing boyfriend and how wonderful our life together was going to be. Just goes to show, you can become emotionally bankrupt overnight.

      Hope you’re doing OK, lady xx

  2. intothebeauty November 7, 2013 at 9:32 pm #

    Hahahhaha Oh my God. “tumbleweed.” Love it. Hey, whatever. They asked, right?

  3. cristina.nogueras November 7, 2013 at 9:49 pm #

    “But, on the bus coming home tonight I met a really nice dog. So the day wasn’t a total disaster.”

    I sometimes stop by the dog park by my apartment to creep at other people’s dogs because I want one so bad and I can’t have one right now. I can relate, haha.

  4. angrybeeornottobee November 8, 2013 at 10:04 am #

    You sound exactly like me right now. I’m moving to a new place after Christmas that has a park next to it with guinea pigs. I’m going to visit those guinea pigs whenever I need cheering up.

  5. mick1982 November 8, 2013 at 2:20 pm #

    I’m sure half those other people were just embellishing to make their lives rosier. It’s never as good as u make it sound and never as bad:)

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