I got back from Boston about an hour ago. Quick unpack. Quick repack, because I’m going to Edinburgh tomorrow night.
I’m looking forward to a weekend of relaxing with the kind of friends you can totally relax with, seeing my sister and my nephews, and a kindofsortofsemi date with Wedding Boy.
I’m also looking forward to not being in my flat.
I love my flat. When I bought it three years ago I was just beside myself with delight at having my own place. I remember when I first came to view it, and immediately texted my friends and said, “I just viewed the flat I’m going to marry!”.
I just don’t like being at home anymore.
Being in Boston, and living in a (very nice) hotel room, distanced me from the life I shared with him.
Also, I’ve always wanted to live in the US. I’ve worked there a couple of times (two months in Pennsylvania, three months in New York) and studied at the University of Texas for a year. My family went on holiday to Florida and Colorado every year when I was a kid, and my parents still spend three months of the year in Florida. It’s fair to say we all have a bit of a love affair with America.
I guess I’m thinking that maybe the pizza of doom happened so that I’m free to go where I want and do what I want.
I don’t know. I’m jet lagged and tired and my thoughts are very jumbled.
Everything in my flat reminds me of him, and nobody welcomed me home.
Pizza of Doom 
That is depressing indeed. =( I know the feeling now. Interestingly enough, I never was one to listen to ppl who’d tell me you have to keep busy, you have to keep going out and doing stuff when you’re going through heartbreak. I always seemed to PREFER to just stay at home and sob and be a total mess. It’s only recently I’m feeling that desperation to get out, get away from here and do ANYTHING to not think about the sadness of what’s going on…
I guess you’re right, it is good that you kind of have the freedom now to do whatever it is you need to do to get better. Just keep that in mind and… enjoy your weekend with your friends (and the kindasemidate) hope it goes well x
America is here whenever you need it!
sometimes i feel like a nice vacation or escape is all you need!