29 Sep

I don’t have much to say tonight, except that I long for a restful night’s sleep.

I’ve managed to ditch my sleeping pill habit, and I’m getting through the night without hours and hours spent awake and horribly anxious. I still always wake between three and four, but I’ve got a knack for getting back to sleep through the power of a hypnosis app on my iPhone.

The only remaining problem is the nightmares.

Last week I had a horrific nightmare where I was watching Beyoncé ice skate across a pond that I knew wasn’t frozen. I didn’t stop her. She fell through. Other nights I find myself involved in gang warfare, and often dealing with weapons or complicated organised crime deals. It’s all very stressful for someone who panics about breaking the speed limit.

Anyway, last night I dreamt about my ex’s Mum. It wasn’t a nightmare as such. She was her usual lovely self. I woke at three in a panic about it because I felt so sad. Got the hypnosis app going. Fell back asleep. And dreamt about her again.

By morning I was emotionally exhausted. I really wanted to be part of his family. His Mum was ridiculously kind to me. As much as I need to move on from him, I need to move on from his parents and brother and nieces and nephew and his lovely friends. And they really need to stop visiting me in my sleep.

So, dearest brain, if I have the choice, I’ll take another nightmare about being inadvertently involved in Beyoncé’s death over a happy dream about any of his family members. Deal?

One Response to “Nightmares”

  1. jadedwildcat September 29, 2013 at 10:01 pm #

    Glad to see you’re trying out hypnosis as well. I use those apps really quite a lot these days and I think it truly is helping me (at least I hope it is and I’m not just fooling myself!)

    Those dreams suck btw
    It’s like we invested so much into them, that it’s more than just THEM we have to let go 😦
    This is why I’m cursed with so many distractions and associations…
    I guess the less time you spent with someone, the less INVOLVED you were in their lives and families, etc., the much easier time you’ll have getting over everything.

    I realize this isn’t exactly NATURAL, and it is still putting stuff into your body, but I find taking allergy pills like Sinutab really helps me to sleep well – even more so than Nytol or other things that are supposed to be sleeping aids. Just a thought. Maybe once in awhile isn’t so bad, just when you need a recharge. xoxo

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