I had a nice day. One of my best friends is over from Australia. I drank a lot of coffee with her, which was fabulous. We caught up on everything and I got through my whole story without sobbing. Go me! I went to the gym. Did some shopping. Cleaned my kitchen. And finally settled down to the X Factor about an hour ago.
Yes, I love the X Factor. Don’t judge.
I have two favourites this year: Abi and Melanie. Tonight they both decided to break my heart a little.
I had never before realised how sad this song is. It’s really not about dancing at all. (Who knew?) It’s about loneliness.
And if that didn’t have me sobbing enough, Melanie followed up with this.
Since I find myself in my pyjamas watching X Factor on a Saturday night, it’s fair to say I’m wanting to dance with somebody. With somebody who loves me.
But the past couple of days, the sadness has cleared a little. Just a little. Just enough for me to give myself a good talking to. While, at the start of the week, I was emailing my friends to tell them that my life had no point, today I’m not even looking for a point. I don’t need one. I’m a good, kind person and I have as much right to be happy as anyone else.
My friend Kate and I were discussing this on Thursday night. It might sound melodramatic – and maybe it’s just indicative of what a nice life I’ve had – but this breakup is genuinely the worst thing that has ever happened to me.
The good news is (as Kate was quick to point out) it has to get better from here.
Sure, something like this might happen in the future. But I’ll be OK. Because I’m small but strong. I can get through this. And I will never let anyone hurt me like this again.
Wouldn’t you know it? Mel’s already sung about such things on the X. (Please excuse Gary’s lip synching.)
Pizza of Doom 
That actually does sound like a really nice day. Sometimes ppl get obsessive about needing to make some days (especially Saturdays) really filled with explosive, non-stop excitement that they seem to forget how calming and nice it is just to hang with a friend and talk, cook or clean etc. Time well-spent with YOURSELF.
I like what your friend said about how it can only get better from here.
So true. At least you have that to look forward to, pretty much every day that you wake up.