Day 55

26 Sep

It is 55 days since the pizza of doom.

It is after 10pm.

And, for the first time in 55 days, I can say that I have not cried today.

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8 Responses to “Day 55”

  1. elizabethhiggins September 26, 2013 at 10:30 pm #

    Love this! x

  2. jadedwildcat September 27, 2013 at 2:22 am #

    So Very, Very, Very, Very proud of you!!!
    Here is a much deserved rose, woman! @-;——–
    The beginning of the end, right? So they say anyway. Don’t feel hindered if you DO cry again, because it’ll probably be on and off for awhile, driving you mad but, the fact that you didn’t today, you’re finally getting it out of your system, slowly but surely.
    So happy to hear.

    • aprileb September 27, 2013 at 8:37 am #

      Thank you, buddies. Feeling a bit sad again this morning. But, hey, a whole day without tears. That was something! x

      • jadedwildcat September 27, 2013 at 4:28 pm #

        Indeed it was – don’t discount it!
        Yup, like I said I’m sure it’ll come and go, but you’re getting a better handle on things in your life.

        Happy Friday, girl. I hope you have some good things planned for the weekend. Blog about it later for us if you want 🙂 x

  3. intothebeauty September 27, 2013 at 12:41 pm #

    I’m so happy for you! You needed a day of dry eyes. I promise, those days will come more and more. The sadness WILL go away. You just have to be willing to let it. I realized within the first few months of my breakup that most of the reason I was still so sad was because I hadn’t let go. Sure, I knew we were broken up. I accepted it as a fact and as a constant. But I still had this glimmer of hope in the pit of my heart and it was keeping me from moving forward. And I didn’t want to let go of the feeling of me wanting him. It makes things so much harder. But in the end, I’m so much happier than I was almost 7 months ago.

    • aprileb September 27, 2013 at 2:07 pm #

      Thank you! It is totally not wanting to let go. And sometimes it hits you like a tonne of bricks, or knocks the breath right out of you, but I think I feel more distant from everything him-related. I was talking to my counsellor (who I LOVE) about this the other night. How in a year this will just be something that happened. But that will be sad because he’ll just be something that happened. Sad times, but happy times too. x

    • aprileb September 27, 2013 at 2:18 pm #

      P.S. I’m going to use a bit of your comment as the basis for my next post. “I didn’t want to let go of the feeling of me wanting him”. So so so so well described x

      • intothebeauty September 27, 2013 at 4:01 pm #

        It’s SO true, that’s why! I’m still shocked it’s been 7 months since my breakup. I never wanted it to go this long and that’s why I hate when he contacts me. All of those memories and what-ifs come rushing back and I just get so mad. I’m so glad you like your counselor. I thought about doing that when it first happened, I just didn’t have the money or health insurance at the time. At least you’re letting it all out and feeling it. That’s a big thing. Actually letting yourself grieve-that’s the normal part. To not cry or fight back the tears would be a lie. You’re feeling, which is the hardest part. The next part will be letting go. You’ll get there xoox

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