An empty weekend

20 Sep

Week Two of the new job. Done. And, although I still feel I am completely messing it up, it was definitely easier than Week One.

I now have a whole empty weekend stretching in front of me. All my friends were busy tonight, so I walked home. I listened to The National and cried at all the songs that I had never before realised were quite so sad. And as I walked, I made plans for the empty weekend. Plans that involve more than watching TV and crying.

Tomorrow I’ll go for a run, I’ll catch up on Teen Mom, I’ll take my laptop and sit and write in a coffee shop, I’m seeing a friend in the afternoon, and at 5pm I’m seeing another psychic (anything to feel better right now). Tomorrow night I guess I’ll take it easy and watch a movie or something. Sunday is all about massage and cinema. I’m going to see ‘About Time’ which I’ve been told is truly awful, but Wedding Boy thought it was incredible so I said I’d check it out myself and give him my critique.

I’ll be honest, I wish I was spending the weekend with my ex. I wish we were going out to dinner to celebrate my second week, and that I could talk to him about everything at work, and kiss his face. I reckon he’s probably dating again by now. But that makes me think maybe it’s time for me to put up an online profile at least. I don’t need to do anything. It might just keep me entertained.

In the meantime, I made a stop on my way home. I bought myself a huge bunch of flowers and a small bottle of prosecco to say, “Well done on getting up every day and going to your new job.”

I realise that buying myself flowers probably marks me out as a loser, but – hey – nobody else was going to do it.

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5 Responses to “An empty weekend”

  1. jadedwildcat September 20, 2013 at 7:23 pm #

    I’d have bought you flowers and come to hang out with you if I was there!!! *hug*
    Sounds like you’ve got it all planned out though, and that’s good. Keep planning. My therapist always used to tell me to constantly make lists and plans for each and every day, and keep marking things off the lists so that you at least feel accomplished.
    Granted, I don’t know how you can continue watching movies… that’s pretty amazing. I find so much association in everything, and it’s so much more amplified in movies and music. But that’s again good, because maybe you’ll just eventually get desensitized to it all.
    Congrats on finishing week two. Can’t believe how time is flying. The dating profile could be an idea yeah, if even just to talk to people, see what’s out there, but naw I wouldn’t rush into anything. Seems so fast for your ex to even be dating…hm. But to each his own I guess.
    You’re doing well. You’ve got support in a lot of directions, even on here. I know I’m grateful for that, and I hope it helps you too. Have a good weekend please..! xoxo

  2. intothebeauty September 20, 2013 at 7:31 pm #

    If you weren’t on another continent, I’d be right there with you, girl! *hugs from Boston*

  3. aprileb September 20, 2013 at 8:15 pm #

    Thanks, girls! The blogger buddy support has been a massive help in keeping me going these past few weeks, especially with the new job. Paws crossed the psychic has some good news since dipping my toe into online dating has been a bit depressing so far!

  4. Just Someone September 22, 2013 at 2:49 am #

    Such was the emptiness of my weekend that I decided to pay a visit to my office. At 7:00 AM I was in office.(which I had not visited for past 12 days). It is no network zone, so I could not access internet on my tab but I saw your posts in my inbox. I was sad and wanted to reply.
    I was thinking of suggesting you to watch “Eternal Sunshine of Spotless mind” (in case you haven’t see it). ‘We’ loved the movie and now I wish if there something like that in real.

    • aprileb September 22, 2013 at 5:06 am #

      It’s funny. My ex and I watched that movie one day. He had just given me this incredible gift of a painting that I loved to thank me for having him stay in my flat for a month and “for being such an amazing girlfriend”. At the time we watched it I felt so loved and like we would never need such a thing. I now realise the painting was a guilt gift because he already knew he was going to end it. When we spoke on the phone two weeks ago I told him if I could I would sign up for ‘eternal sunshine’.

      I hope your weekend has improved and that work has maybe taken your mind off things a bit. X

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