Last night I went for a massage. I do not mean this in a perverted or sexual way, but I really love that I can pay someone to touch me. Just having someone rub my shoulders. Sheer bliss. There’s a little Thai place I’ve visited for years. They really know what they’re doing.
So last night I went for a head and shoulder massage which means sitting in a chair in the front of the shop rather than going into a room. This also means that you get to hear all the other customers’ conversations with the receptionist (who is one of the sweetest ladies ever).
Just when I was getting super relaxed and a bit sleepy, in walks a crazy woman. I had my eyes closed throughout, but in my head she was tall with unbrushed red hair. Crazy Woman talks at the receptionist about how awful she is feeling. For a full 20 minutes. Her house is unliveable. Her work is very stressful. She just went on a date with the guy who is the voice of Siri on the iPhone. But nothing matters since her ex broke her heart. (Her ex, incidentally, had the same first name as my ex.)
I could tell that the receptionist didn’t know what to say or do. There were no appointments available. Crazy Woman just needed to talk. Eventually, the receptionist spoke up and simply said, “Christmas is coming. Don’t be alone.”
Christmas. I thought I was going to be in Ireland with my ex and his family this Christmas. Instead I’ll be playing ‘spare part’ as usual with my family at my sister’s house. I’m not sure I can get much time off work at all, so I’m not really thinking about it.
What I am thinking about is the fact that every other break up I have been through (with the exception of my first boyfriend), took place right before Christmas. The Manchester Office Hottie, Hairy Back Jack, The Secret Work Boyfriend, and The Ex Before The Ex. Every one a break up in the first week of December. Which really puts a downer on opening the doors on your Hello Kitty advent calendar.
Here’s something to be grateful for: this break up did not ruin my Christmas. And I will not let it. By Christmas I will be me again. By Christmas I will be better. By Christmas I will be smiley, happy, Christmas-loving April who makes the best pecan pie and buys the best gifts. (I know it sounds arrogant, but I really do.)
I don’t want to get ahead of myself, but by Christmas I could even have met someone else. Sure, it makes me feel sick right now. But it’s possible. Anything’s possible at Christmas, right?
In fact, Wedding Boy emailed me last night. He’d seen a Hello Kitty sweatband that made him think of me. (Hopefully because I love Hello Kitty and not because I’m sweaty. I believe personal hygiene is one of my stronger qualities.)
Again, no butterflies. But definitely a smile.
Pizza of Doom 
Wedding Boy? I missed this, please explain…
Glad you enjoyed a massage, I think I need one, have been thinking about treating myself lately!
http://literarylydi.wordpress.com/
You didn’t miss it! I’m pretty sure you commented on it, on my ‘Propositioned’ post. We’ve been exchanging a few messages. He’s very sweet and he knows my heart is broken right now.
Love this post. Absolutely love it. Your optimism continues to inspire me and others I’m sure! That is indeed something to be grateful for, and you’re right in hoping/thinking that you’ll be yourself by Christmas. If anything, you’ll at least be through the worst of it, and even if there are a lot of sad or lonesome ‘spare part’ moments, you’ll most likely be able to deal with it better, after these next few months before Christmas are gone.
No time off work? Perhaps that’s even better if you can just bury yourself in work, make some extra money if you don’t feel up to attending any Christmas events or whatnot.
I remember suffering through a few Christmastime break-ups myself (with H of course), and it was pretty awful. I wished at the time that I had a job so I could just work and pretend like the holidays weren’t even happening. It took almost all of my friends’ patience (as well as an inordinate amount of alcohol!) to get me through – but you’re blessed to have all of these next couple of months to do some serious recooping.
xoxo Have a swell evening, friend.
Last night I saw Christmas candles at a little shop here. I didn’t want to get ahead of myself, so I bought an Autumn scented one instead. By Christmas we will both be better, because I love Christmas – everything about it, and it sounds like you do too. And we have to be happy during the happiest time of the year. Right…?