Otters: the spin off

16 Sep

One of the very best things about blogging as breakup therapy is reading the thoughts of blogger buddies in similar situations all over the world. I’ve found all kinds of curious things I have in common with lovely people. Not least, an awareness of otters’ sleeping habits that I share with Sowebrokeup . This girl always writes a beautiful post, but this one really touched me, and got me thinking. About otters. I’ve reblogged it below.

Now, excuse me, while I write the spin off to this charming post.

Last year a workplace psychologist came in to my old agency to run some change management workshops (i.e. the company had made lots of people redundant and was trying to show they valued those of us who were left). This dude kicked off the session with an ice breaker: what kind of animal would you be?

I was the only person to ask for clarification as to whether this was the animal we would like to be, or the animal that we knew in our heart of hearts we would actually be. There’s a big difference.

“Ehhh. The animal you would like to be, ” he responded. As if it was a stupid question.

Around the table everyone said either “cat” or “sloth”. And the reason was invariably, “because I like my sleep”. Dull.

I said I would be a sea otter because they sleep holding paws.

My ex and I couldn’t fall asleep while spooning. So we always slept with our feet touching.

I have hardly slept at all since the breakup. Six weeks ago.

Sowebrokeup’s post got me thinking. What happens when one of the otters dies? Or – I don’t know loads about the character of otters and don’t want to tarnish their reputation – but what if one just f***s off because “something is missing”? How does the otter who is left behind fall asleep with nothing to hold onto?

And so I found myself on Google at 1am searching statements that included “what happens to otters who hold paws sleeping when one of them dies”.

There is very little information on this subject. Very little. I did, however, find one heartbreaking description of the otter holding on to her deceased partner’s paw until he either sinks, floats away or decomposes.

Clinging to something she doesn’t know how to live without, even though it’s already dead.

I think in my heart of hearts I’m already part sea otter.


7 Responses to “Otters: the spin off”

  1. jadedwildcat September 16, 2013 at 9:00 pm #

    😦 That is just so…
    I want to type ‘heartbreaking’ but lately, just about every little thing I hear pertaining to relationships, loss, break-ups is heartbreaking. But this right here honestly hurt me. Hanging onto something that’s dead and gone…
    How very pertinent for a lot of peoples’ situations on here.

    How was your weekend with the wedding and everything, by the way? It’s been awhile since you surfaced here on WP. Always hoping you’re faring well…

    P.S. I understand about the ‘feet touching’ thing. I guess maybe every couple has their ‘things’ that they do like that. For H and myself it’s the scratching thing, where we scratch each other’s backs until we’re both passing out or something. I’m forever obsessing about how people let go of all these little heartfelt things, because while I know sadly it is now gone for you, I just have a sick feeling that I too, may soon have to face that…. =\

    • aprileb September 17, 2013 at 7:31 am #

      The wedding was actually fun. I posted a couple of times from it so you can catch up. I had my dark moments but I think overall it helped.

      Also saw the doctor yesterday and got some hardcore sleeping pills, phew!

      Hope today is good to you, girl xx

      • jadedwildcat September 17, 2013 at 12:00 pm #

        If you don’t mind, which pills did you get? Zopiclone? Those were ones that always seemed to do the trick for me – even though the dreams were still often present 😦
        Odd, I didn’t see your posts from the wedding, so I’ll have to check again. I’m glad you got through it okay.
        Thanks for the kind words – I hope today is a good day as well…. xx

      • aprileb September 17, 2013 at 3:39 pm #

        Yes, they are Zopiclone. They seemed to work last night. First time I have slept past 4 am in ages. It was nice! I have a late boxing class tonight so will go home really energised, but won’t get home til about 10am. Thank you, Zopiclone. Pretty sure I can still get a decent night’s sleep.

      • jadedwildcat September 18, 2013 at 1:20 am #

        Ahh. Wow, can’t believe I was right about the Zopiclone. Yeah that stuff can knock out an elephant, I think – though it does leave me not remembering bits of the evening if I take them too early. Or I wake up seeing things I typed or wrote but have NO recollection of doing so. weird. Let me know if you have similar issues – curious.

  2. whatnicoladidnext September 16, 2013 at 10:27 pm #

    That’s so heartbreaking. I love reading your posts, they’re so lovely and make me feel like its okay to be sad xxx

    • aprileb September 17, 2013 at 7:29 am #

      It’s always ok to be sad. You need to move through it so you can be happy x

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