Today I met up with some lovely, lovely girls I worked with at a summer camp in Pennsylvania 12 years ago, we had a great afternoon and drank quite a lot of wine. Mmm.
Anyway, at some point I looked at my phone. And there it was. After five weeks, a text from the ex. I won’t duplicate it here, but it basically said he’s back from NY and would like to meet up. He has a lot of my stuff etc. and that he hasn’t been in touch til now because he wanted to give me some space “after we broke up”.
Pretty final, huh?
I ignored it for the afternoon. I responded just now and asked him to give me a couple more weeks. I said I would like to see him, but – pathetic as it sounds – wasn’t sure if I could. And that I really need to focus in starting my new job, then I might feel more ready.
Do you think I did OK?
Nothing back yet. I feel so, so, so, so, so sad.
Pizza of Doom 
God, I wish I had words of comfort to give you. Yet instead, I’m taking on the sadness and finality of that message into myself…and I can really feel the pain you must be experiencing. No turning back. Obviously I live in dread every day of going through those things (again), and feel like such a grief would be inconsolable.
But I guess one thing I can say is, you probably did do good to ask for more time. If you feel you can’t meet with him without breaking down or possibly not even being able to handle it at all, then yes, it seems you did the right thing.
I also congratulate you for not totally melting down after receiving the text, as I know I would have. I remember times in the past where a text like that had me freaking out, messaging a million times, BEGGING for him not to go through with it, begging to be taken back, etc.
Obviously those kinds of messages never do anything but make things worse though.
So good on you for handling it so calmly, maturely.
You’re very strong, and I’m sure you will make it through.
Let us all know what happens okay? So that we can support you. xoxo
Oh god, thank you, but I fear I did not maintain my strong exterior. See the remaining posts from this Saturday night which will now be known as ‘Saturday of contact and perpetual sorrow’. X
Well done! I’m not sure if no contact is any kinder than lots of contact when you split up! I know the heart drenching feeling of seeing a message on your phone from your ex! Every message I get is a dissapointment because it never says what I want to hear!
Well done on waiting to respond and if your not ready yet don’t see him! Your empowering yourself even if it doesn’t feel like it right now!!
Life can be shite sometimes but I/we have to focus on the fact that it will get better xx
I am also having tests of self control. I feel like you did the right thing. However, you can take it further. Offer to mail him the items. This will prevent you from getting hurt if you do see him again. I’m going through the same pains right now. Stick it through- you will and you deserve to heal.