7 Sep

Sense I’m having a cringey Saturday night? Apologies for the mass posting, I think I’m having some sort of panic…thing. I don’t want to say panic attack because I’ve seen someone have one and it was horrific.

I am back to feeling like I did when we broke up five weeks ago. I feel sick. I can’t even drink water.

I need to go to bed with some Nytol, I think.

All I can say is, at least I’ll fit into my bridesmaid dress next weekend. No bother.

8 Responses to “P.S.”

  1. newfallday September 7, 2013 at 9:43 pm #

    Oh my, I’m worried about you over there. I’ve read your posts throughout the day and I can understand what you’re going through right now. It’s amazing how one text message can send you right back to five weeks ago, isn’t it? I’m sorry you’re feeling so sad over there and maybe some sleep will help you.

    I’m concerned about this phone call you’re deciding to have with him – I am not sure that it will do you any good. Rather, it might just fuck up any progress you’ve made in the last five weeks to distance yourself from him and to start moving on with your life.

    I can understand why you decided to do it, and why you think it might just make you feel better… it’s because in the past he’s been able to do that. You miss his comfort, you miss him, and now you’ve finally heard from him. Just be careful with your feelings and try to take care of yourself. Remember that this guy broke your heart and clearly has no interest in trying to get back to what you used to have with him. Good luck over there!

    • aprileb September 7, 2013 at 9:58 pm #

      Thank you! I know you are probably right. I am just so fed up of these thoughts going around and around in my head all the time, I feel like I need some answers. I know there’s nothing he can say that will make me feel better, but maybe I can get sme stuff off my chest and that will make me feel better.

      We’ll see how I feel after a sleep. And I’m tired, so at least I should get some sleep.

      Thanks for your thoughts. It means a lot to me x

  2. sreepurna September 8, 2013 at 11:13 am #

    hey we ve all been there. u need to rid urself of him.. its tough to have just a chat with an ex without feeling down n under even more than before. plus i get a feeling this ll b ur focus fr entire day. instead i suggest u put on ur highest pair of heels n go out. it ll work wonders. good luck. šŸ˜‰

  3. elizabethhiggins September 8, 2013 at 1:22 pm #

    You sound so much like me it’s actually a little scary. I too got a text message from my ex today asking if we could get together and “talk”. When I responded that I wasn’t ready, he promptly began to ignore me and I received no more responses. Men are terrible, all over the world apparently, and not just here in Maine. You will be okay, I promise. There are always a few things I go to when I’m feeling especially sad and pathetic: a long walk in the sunshine, iced coffee, a comedy that we didn’t ever watch together (I’m serious, don’t do that to yourself), and some time with family.

    • aprileb September 8, 2013 at 4:03 pm #

      Nothing beats iced coffee and sunshine! I spoke to him today and it made me feel a bit better, I think, but also sadder. Ugh! You are right to ask for more time. Men have no idea what they are doing. Seriously.

      • elizabethhiggins September 8, 2013 at 4:46 pm #

        It’s hard, because it makes it seem like I never meant anything to him. Isn’t it cruel that they can do that? I’m glad that you guys were able to talk, but I hope that doesn’t make it a harder day for you too. I know how that is.

      • aprileb September 8, 2013 at 5:57 pm #

        It’s like everything meant nothing, right? And he was saying to me, “you need to take this as a sign that you can have an amazing relationship because we had such an amazing, loving relationship.” I’m like, “uh….and we broke up why?”

        It’s so tough. But I guess everything does mean what it always meant. We just need to focus forward and not try to change the past. X

      • elizabethhiggins September 8, 2013 at 10:58 pm #

        Yeah, we do, but it’s hard because I feel like I keep hiding my real feelings, with the exception of posting it on my blog, because I feel like I don’t want to be labeled as pathetic. But does it make you pathetic when you’re avoiding being pathetic? You’re right though, we can’t change the past and I feel like no matter what, it meant everything in the moment.

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