What if?

What if I had pushed him to tell me what he was thinking?
What if I hadn’t accepted exhaustion and work stress as justifications for ignoring me?
What if I hadn’t put on weight when I was with him?
What if I was thinner?
What if I was prettier?
What if I was more up-to-date on current affairs?
What if I hadn’t confided that I’m so nervous about my new job?
What if I had argued more?
What if I had told him not to break up with me?
What if I had begged and told him all the reasons that we’re so right together? What if I’d been better?
What if I’d been more?
What if I’d said, “I know you’re tired, but we’re still walking over the Brooklyn Bridge”?
What if we could go back to the start?
What if I could be with him now instead of watching The Newsroom, washing my gym clothes, and buying things I don’t need on Topshop online?
What if he still loved me?

Tags: break up, breakup, breakup bargaining, relationships, what could I do better, what if my ex still loved me